I wonder how much have i hidden...

My thoughts on skill of life...
people does have skill in each and most would have them display... let's take pool for example... most people play with friend and have the skill to go in every ball they hit... and you use it on your friend... would it feel hurtful if your friend was so weak? just to make yourself feel wonderful for winning over someone that weak to feel satisfy? if you're doing that to your friend, he/she might not like it or might give up playing that game... wasn't this breaking up friendship? people don't really go into the loser feeling when they're winning... so try feel them before you win them... skills are not to be displayed when not in competition... sometimes playing with friend just let them winning isn't that bad either... it build up their confidence and bondage on friendship isn't it better that just winning them?

My Feelings?
ehh... feeling pain? kind of pain that hurts more than physically... want to concern? can't show it out... Want to care? can't show it out... can't do anything also... feeling so worthless... my existence isn't anything but just being an extra object for everyone... considering going over to other side now... at least my existence there might be much more acceptable? whatever lah...

14 July 2009
today woke up early but went back to sleep >.< getting more lazy to get up already... i try stop this habit asap... well went to school around 8.50am... reach there teacher was about to end his lesson le >.< anyway got my attendance... soh asked us to do chapter 1 & 2 for the cisco? arh~ hate to do this boring stuff... well had lunch after lesson? was kind of not hungry or was i moody again? anyway had samba chicken rice down... after eating ervin, jian hua and me went to co-op shop because ervin want buy drinks there... then we head to pool~ people there all CMI... look at them play i was like brr~ come on my left hand can hit better than that... only watched the uncle playing there! he was great~ hmm thought of what to write on my feelings and thoughts suddenly~ then the rest came to pool also... didn't thought of they would come here... well went to wait for deston because he come for afternoon lesson~ then ervin suddenly came up looking for me? anyway deston came and he went for his lunch... then had our next lesson and i just couldn't glance to the darn direction... so used a bag to block it... was feeling kind of useless like can see through the bag >.<... anyway play FB because what soh was teaching have already been taught before by suen... had a little secret chat with johnathan ^^ si jia yi keep reading our little secret! BLA~ she wont say out right? hahaz... then don't know why jia yi and johnathan start quarreling then become cusing each other >.< wu liaoz... after that went for RCT... the most boring lesson ever... nothing much to learn just slacking around waiting for time to pass... planned few stuff for deston chalet~ i guess tomorrow i will start to think of event for him le... went home after school was damn tired and fell asleep in bus knocking on the glass a few times >.< woke up with my right side of my head in pain... reach yishun and got off at the market buying some stuff for dinner... and also honey star + koko crunch LOL! ate a simple dinner and honey star because was still hungry... well play computer a little and bathed... around 9 plus feel like going for a cycle... as usual was feeling bad... all i could do was to pretend to see nothing and act like nothing? i really couldn't do that anymore... went cycling around and stop at seletar damp having the breeze... then a big group of cyclist cycle pass me and jio me to go cycle with them~ i joined in! waited for all of the to pass me then i cycle to catch up... from last to the first and first to can't be caught up >.< waited at jalan kayu for them... then they broke up already... some of them went home and the rest went to my fav. tou hua shop~ the auntie always give me free yu tiao! haha~ last time in camp always visit their shop to buy tuo hua for my camp mates... then cycle back to camp LOL~ auntie see me so good always give my stuff extra or free XD so good right? hahaz~ well brought yu tiao and a drink and off to home! going home alone enjoying yu tiao and music! how can i miss out JJ song dou jiang yu tiao? HAHA~ well got back to seletar damp and walk from 1 end to another... slow walk and have all my events passed run through again... so much to think of but no one to share with? LOL~ okay then i went back home after that... and start writing this blog le... hmm... 2 kind of worlds million kinds of possibility~ i wonder who i have told this to... okay good night readers~ Must tag ar! so many mystery counts on the counter but not even a tag >.< i'm not wise... i just have more knowledge only...