there's always something going on...

hi hi~ i'm back! well felt that i've been rotting at home so decided to write something here at least? LOL... lately doesn't feel right to go out of house so stayed at home rotting all day... choose this song for the day "life is like a boat" felt that it really suit the mood i am in now... nobody truly understand me nor know anything much about me... my smiles have cover all? putting up a happy looking mask was uncomfortable and tiring... only loneliness existed in me which made my anger shows easily... i understand how much pain it was for being lonely... i've understand it all and i'm moving forward to for someone who will give me a chance to understand me... i would give my heart and everything i got for the only "you"... everything that no others could and i would be the best you've ever seen... enough of that >.< later taking exam hope my brain would work well... my brain store so much but didn't actually have the time to look back at everything...

Days weeks month and finally 4 years, it still going on and on.
those lonely day i passes by, only chill of cold to my heart.
there a part of me that can't let everything go, for the past i've been through.
thing are getting too much for my hand, thing were slipping through my finger.
time was still ticking, i'm still chasing after but still losing to it.
i'm exhausted from chasing so i've stopped, giving myself a little rest.
i'll be going on after when i found someone, someone who to go after with.
i would stick with my partner, as long as she won't give up upon me.
now i'm just under the tree waiting, waiting for that somebody to pass-by.
neither any of them has given me chance nor understanding, i'm just plain waiting.
one day someone like "her" would pass by, it'd be soon i believe in...


Life is like a boat lyrics:

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on comin' and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you through another day

Tookude iki wo shiteru toumei ni nattamitai
Kurayami ni omoe takedo mekaku shisarete tadake
Inori wo sasagete atarashii hi wo matsu
Azayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don't give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

Hito no kokoro wa utsuri yuku nukedashita kunaru
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de fune wo tsureteku

And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore

Oh, I can see the shore
When will I... see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I'd feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you, and keep you strong

Tabi wa mada tsudzuiteku odayakana hi mo
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de fune wo terashidasu
Inori wo sasagete atarashii hi wo matsu
Azayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore

Unmei no fune wo kogi
Nami wa tsugi kara tsugi e to
Watashitachi wo osou kedo
Sore mo suteki na tabi ne
Dore mo suteki na tabi ne

Anger? hate? Neither...

hihi HI! hahaz... i think i would never be able to hold hate or anger for that long... a day passes and poof~ anger disappear... i'm too much forgiving and understanding? this are which nobody believes that i was... people thoughts are getting more and more complicated? even i forgiven a person, that person would think i was only faking it... i've understand a person feeling , that person would think that i was just trying to be mature... this place is totally gone complicated as days passes... so damn tire of getting someone to understand me... and hope just a girl that would believe whom i really was... well with those hopes i felt lonely again >.< ah arhh~ just want to have a simple life where there's simple love that no lie, secret and objections... so worn out here sleeping more and more hoping the next day would be different... yet it doesn't just happen... require a warm hug and a pat on the back... just to cheer up myself? LOL... can't help myself for that either... can't think of who to blame for the current century we're in... not the girls or the boys, nor what's right and what's wrong... hmm read jia yi poem LOL~ can't understand what she written there... well i thought of something i felt it's lame... it's about how girls judge guy who love them? LOL~

when guys follow them:
stranger => Stalker/Pervert
guys they hate => Stalker
guys friend => friend only
guys they like => he like her
god brother => my brother only ma~
boyfriend => natural...

Time to give up...

Well... chosen 3 girls in my life yet i had no result in any... i guess it's time to give up... so tired being of a good guy... and yea~ i'm flirting with ALL girls now! well at least i could feel better this way? i would be back to how i was after finding a girl who really did love me or i'll kept on flirting~ it doesn't make any more difference being a good or bad guy... i'll just be whom ever i felt i wanted to be... maybe being bad is more fun than being so good... no body care if i thought of others, no body cares i did any thing... so from now on i would live how my moods goes~ i wont think of anymore what other feel/think! hate me if you are to, curse me if you like and kill me if you want... my life doesn't belong to think of you guys neither i was here to care... i'll be selfish, i'll be greedy, i'll be jerk and that would be me! so (F) OFF if you don't like...

Time of Solitude...

wasn't very free to post my blog for the few days~ was busy with work and well... gan mei's all was so troubled this few days... why their trouble comes together sia~ make me so busy... LOL! well playing audi too, so wasn't really in the mood to blog too... well, wasn't really up to blog today but i guess i should at least blog something after not blogging for days... well today school was alright? took the dumb test and went for lunch... disturbed deston with my fried (tori) haha! well, i should say to all~ drink more water! plain water i mean... okay i stop here liao... good night readers...

Time couldn't be reverse and could neither be stopped... treasure every moment of being anytime anywhere...

it's time to look around...

it's time to give up the 3 girl i would choose from... i guess it's time to accept those who really love me deep? hmm... we'll see lor... choosen 3 and yet no results... was having quite a busy time with buddies and friends... maybe a little addicted to audi beat up mode! yea... it was fun playing beat up than the normal game there... well, not really that addicted to it but just taking it to kills my loneliness? hahaz... watch a show on wednesday saying about guys carrying their GF handbag/bags... well, i don't think so much about how other guys look on me when i carry my loved one's bag... it's not because of being gentleman or whatever... but it's like giving her more freely to shop without being afraid of bag being pick-pocketed or obstacle her from her shopping... and of course won't open her bag la... i know there's alot of mystery stuff in there LOL... i don't go into my GF stuff much anyway... it's a form of respect and trust between each other... went to watch (where got ghost today) ^^ was funny and laugh alot about it LOL! don't really scare me out but really made me laugh~ okay stopping it here don't want to spoil to those who have not watch it... and those who need a good laugh i would suggest you going for this movie ^^

i'm not wise but i'm have knowledge... i'm not clever but i'm smart... all was not i wanted to be, it's all from learning through experience... i yell no anger, yet i shout with courage... i hate no one, but i pity oneself... i believe no one but yet i had trust for all...